ES EE EX

I talk about this alot with my boyfriend and male friends who all say they couldnt tell me whether or not they had made a girl come before in a one night stand. And when you dont know, most likely it didnt happen.
So whats the issue? that the men arent good in bed? that the women arent comfortable enough to get off? or that both parties are so out of touch with eachother and with themselves that it was never going to happen in the first place?
The last one.
sure there are situations in which one party is just useless in bed, but on the whole i think that our perceptions and ideals about sex are worked into us from such a young age that sexual comforatabilty and the ability to know what you want and how to get it has become a rarity.
We are never told about orgasms at school. We are taught that a man has a penis and a woman has a vagina and when they love eachother very much they have sex and this makes a baby.
What we arent taught about are all the years before and in between that, when babies are the last thing on our minds and all we want to do is fuck.
We arent taught about masturbation or sex as a pleasurable experience. sure, maybe we are told that sex will feel good, but we arent told that we will crave it, that for alot of people it will become one of the most important aspects of their lives for a long time.
We arent told about the complexities of sex for women, and its a fucking complex thing. sex for women is about the emotional and mental side of the situation as much as it is about the physicality. You will be hard pressed to find a woman who can sleep with a man she has no particular attraction to, no history, no feelings and no connection with and get off.
Young girls arent taught about masturbation, unless its by their parents, which still to this day i think would be rare. And i believe this is why so many girls are losing their virginity so young and sleeping around to such an extent yet never really doing it for themselves..
at our age the point of sex is to get off. Simple as that. Both parties want and should be able to come. So why arent they?
why are boys still going out with the desire to pick someone up to fuck when they themselves have no idea how to have sex?
It can only ever be amazing, (and it SHOULD be amazing), when you know what youre doing and you know what you want which i dont think alot of 30 year olds even know nowadays.
What needs to be changed is our initial welcome into sex, which is at school. Girls escpecially need to be taught that they are capable of feeling as good, if not better than the man they are sleeping with and that when they do start having sex it should be because THEY want to feel good, not because they are trying to make another person feel good. And THAT is one of the hugest issues of today, the fact that girls are losing their virginity and sleeping around yet never getting off.
This is one of the hugest problems, female masturbation is still fairly tabboo. Young boys get boners all the time and always have their hands down their pants so its somehow more acceptable to talk about young boys wanking, whereas because of the difference in methods and that it has seemed a far more secret act for girls for so many years we dont really tell them it is ok. If we saw our little girl with their hand down their pants it would be our first reaction to tell them never to do that, but what we should be doing is making her feel comfotable to do whatever she wants but making sure its always safe and away from people.
Kids are so in touch with their bodies, we are born without insecurities and without self image, these things are burnt into us later by the media, our peers, society and other peoples issues. When we are little we dont give a shit about any of that and these are the years in which we are learning about ourselves. So why discourage it?
The fact that some of my closest friends say they have never had an orgasm, and these are girls in their 20's who have slept with their fair share of men, this upsets me, because to be sexually aware and sexually satisfied is a great thing, and to be denied of it seems fucking ridiculous.
The search for all that shit needs to start at childhood before we are cemented in our beliefs and insecurities about sex. We need to teach our kids the facts about sex, the ones that are relevant to the time of life that sex seems most important, which is their adolescents, and we need to teach girls to feel good about themsleves and their bodies! To be comfortable in telling people how they feel and what they want, not laying silently accepting only what they are presented with, or pretending to like something that they dont really, whats the point in that? the boy will never learn, the girl will never learn and you will never get a good experience. Sex is mutual and should be treated as such.
Thats all an inability to orgasm is; a struggle to feel comfortable, lack of insight into yourself or the belief that sex is all about the boy, which it isnt. At all. And when all things can be changed and improved by openness and truth-why is it so difficult to do so?