Thursday, September 27, 2012
Speak no evil
To me words are the greatest weapon of all, they have and always will be my power to express how I feel and have someone really understand. I relish in literary expression and when I read a good book can be truly transported into it, I feel lucky to have that ability because it's an escape not everyone can utilise. I know the power of my own words which is why I have learnt to tame them in a way. I used to be vicious, say things that perhaps I meant but should never say. If I wanted to hurt people with them, I would. And it wasnt until I realised the depth with which they could hurt a person I taught myself to hold them back. To this day I remember the hurtful things my father said to me as a child, or the flippent off the cuff remarks my grandmother would make about my appearance, I especially remember the things ex lovers have said in their darkest hours when all they wanted to do was break my heart. If you respect words then its almost impossible to forget them once theyve been spoken, which is why I find it so difficult to truly forgive those who have used theirs against me. I'm over analytical and at times this can mean I am unforgiving. Sometimes I wish it wasnt so, I wish I could let things wash over me and move on without the burden of memory. But I suppose thats just who I am, and trying to be something else would be a lie.