Where are you.

I needed you right now. I know you could feel it. I asked for it, just for a moment for you to care for me, stay with me, give me what you know i need; yet I got nothing. I feel the distance growing further and stronger and the iscolation burns me like a flame.
Is to love not to give, to make the pain go away? To do whatever you can to ease it if only for a minute?
I am not easy because my life doesnt let me be, and if you could have felt even the slightest sting of what i'm feeling then you would be here making it ok for just right now. Not forever, but just this moment when company would have made it better, when the warmth of someone next to me could have made the flood gates close.
Maybe i am unreasonable, maybe im not, maybe i expect too much but i would rather that than expect nothing at all. The nothingness of this. Of feeling the love flicker like a flame in the breeze. If you could make it all go away, would you?
There are things we can forgive and there are things we cant, and what i want, what i expect is that you would do whatever you could to make it hurt a little less.
I looked to you for safety and you gave me none. I looked to you for kindness and love, you gave me none.
The twisted thing is this is just the same as the past, as the reason why i needed you right now. The abandonment of father, of lover. You take from me what you need and in this moment when i need you most you are not here.
When you walked out the door I felt the distance slice through me like a sword. I want to say its ok, but im still crying and my hands are shaking and you left me broken down and alone in this bed. Maybe, you are not the one for me.