I was happy.

what is life without sacrifice? What is love without sacrifice? Didnt someone once say "love is the greatest sacrifice of all" Or did i just make that up?
We are in a time in which walking away is so easy, there are so many people in the world that even when we do find one we can stick with there could always be another just around the corner. Is the point to forsake all others, or just forsake others til shit gets too hard and we bail?
There are girls like me, but they wont have all the parts of me. I have a dark side that makes it hard for me to relate to alot of people, i do some pretty crazy shit sometimes for god knows what reason, and these things are a part of me, it is what differentiates me from everybody else. Our past and our problems are what define us, what make us unique. The things that bring us pain, the little scars and wounds we carry are our own, some can wear them with pride others are ashamed and some can hide them so well you would think they didnt have any at all. This is what makes us ourselves. I carry mine well and at times i forget i even have them, but then the bottle goes in and i reach down into the pit of my self, down into my guts where noone else can see and i rip it out from within me. Some people get drunk and start a fight, some people get drunk and fuck a million people or flirt or smash a window. I get drunk and I can become dark. Hurt myself. but not stop drinking, keep going further and further down until i spew it out all over whoever is closest to me. some people choose to think of the good times they have with me, others can think of nothing but the bad. i understand this. It is noones job to sacrifice themselves for another person. but i can only be one thing for so long until you find out i am many. I can only be one thing before the others rear their heads and show you they are here to.
To love doesnt mean to sacrifice, it means to accept. Accept eachtoher for everything you are, not just parts.
But i understand it is different with me, at times i make it near impossible to love me. at times i dont even love myself. But if you do and you say it and you tell me 'I love you', you tell me you will be here until the end, that you accept me not just for now but forever, then please mean it. There is only so much that i can take, and i dont know if i have it in me to do this again.